Introduction 

A popular maxim says that respect must be earned. One cannot respect someone who has not demonstrated him- or herself worthy of it. I wish to question that maxim. The charitable love (agapé) that God gives is considered unconditional. We should give it to even the unworthy. It seems to me one must also give respect to another unconditionally. Must respect really be earned? I think not.

Call for Unconditional Respect

God’s love is unconditional. It is the nature of His love. One must do what is needed for the interest of another, give that person what he or she needs for his/ her good. 

Paul instructed husbands to love their wives just as God’s Anointed One loved His ecclesia, His called- out assembly of Heaven’s citizens. The apostle told wives to respect (phobeō/ fear) their husbands. He used the same word written in Acts 9:31 for ‘the fear of Lord’. This attitude is as unconditional as husbands’ love for their wives. 

Respect for Another’s Values and Perspectives

Paul called the believers in Rome to tolerate the faith position of other believers, whether one abhors the eating of meat offered to idols or does not. That calls for respect for the other’s position and values.

One of the biggest problems with Christian churches since the Reformation is the lack of respect for doctrinal differences. Luther’s 95 Theses – doctrinal disputes with the Catholic Church – led to the Thirty Years War, the bloody conflicts between the various lords of Germany.

Today, many small groups of people meet in purpose- built buildings to “worship God”, hear messages on how to live as Christians, and do little praying. These groups don’t meet together in large gatherings because differing perspectives on theology (and the lust for power) keep them separated. They do not respect each other’s viewpoint.

In my own life, i wish to gather in a house with one small group of believers. They took issue with my unorthodox perspectives on salvation and the function of churches. In their lack of respect, they withdrew from me permission to meet and worship with them. In their lack of agapé love, they have not kept in touch to see if I repented of my perspectives, as they called me to do. If they don’t follow my blog, they have no idea the doctor told me I have cancer. I can expect no support from them at all.

Objections 

The usual objection to the idea of unconditional respect is people’s preference to disdain people of lower life stations and values or to abhor murderers, child molesters, and cheating spouses. The problem with this failure to respect is the failure to understand how the person’s past affects his/ her attitudes and behaviors.

Poor people with low standards of lifestyle have not learned higher standards of environment and behavior. They lack the resources to improve their lives. James 2:2-6 calls for them to be respected anyway.

Murderers act violently because they fear something about other people. Even those who kill for hire fear not receiving the income to be gained from the act. Child molesters are well- known to have been molested themselves. They weren’t taught that violating another for one’s own pleasure is wrong. Cheating spouses haven’t learned that breaking one’s promise of exclusive love hurts the other’s heart. They all believe – wrongly – that what they do is not evil.

God’s agapé love requires that the person be viewed as a bearer of His image. He or she is to be loved unconditionally, to be given whatever that person needs, even if it is to make him/ her stop the evil behavior. We are obligated to understand his/ her motives as much as possible. From there, society can work to enable the person’s rehabilitation.

Police officers are typically taught to behave respectfully toward civilians, even while putting a halt to any unlawful behavior. This is the motivation behind the rehabilitation of criminals versus incarceration merely to stop or punish their harmful activities.